Three hard cases, and how to receive feedback
Step 1 / 4·Feedback to your boss
0/4 steps done
Learning objectives — after this module you will:
- Give upward feedback without losing safety
- Give feedback to someone with deeper expertise than yours
- Recognise the three triggers that make you defensive
Feedback to your boss
Have a safe opening when the listener has power over you.
Upward feedback is the riskiest kind, so most people stay quiet — and the boss carries on not knowing. The way to lower the risk is not to be vague; it is to do three things before you speak.
Three things to do before you open
- Ask permission: 'I have an observation about this morning's meeting — do you want to hear it?' This hands them control of the timing, and almost everyone says yes.
- Anchor to a shared goal: 'I think this affects whether we hit the deadline' — you are standing beside them, not opposite them.
- Raise one thing only: taking three items upward at once turns feedback into an indictment.
The same point, sent upward two ways
The version that raises the risk
“'You always decide alone and tell the team afterwards; everyone finds it frustrating.'”
Speaks for other people ('everyone'), labels a repeated pattern ('always'), and leaves the listener no move except self-defence.
The version that keeps you safe
“'Can I share one observation? I found out about the supplier change after it was decided. I have quality data on the last batch — if I'd known earlier I would have sent it to you.'”
Asks permission, names one specific event, and shows the value of knowing earlier instead of accusing them of a pattern.
When not to
If your organisation genuinely punishes people who speak up, technique will not save you. Try one small, low-risk observation first, watch the response, and decide from there whether to go further. Reading the environment accurately is a skill too.
Key takeaway: Ask permission, anchor to a shared goal, and raise exactly one specific event.